G to the C

I can’t take my mind off biscuits….

I woke up this morning, as I do everyday.. got ready for work, put on a pair of jeans (its friday, not that it matters), found a shirt with least number of wrinkles, or atleast thats what it looks like… by experience the visible wrinkles on a shirt is inversely proportional to the complication of the print, cloth silkiness and the color darkness…. put on shoes and put a cup of milk in the microwave for minute and a half. I dont have to go in detail about how frustrating it can be, if any of it is spilled in the microwave leaving the white milky layered skin, if you will, on the top of the cup… add sugar and coffee, and turn on the TV to watch morning news. now this is something I do everyday. today was special because my roommate, by the power of junk-food gods, bought packets of Parle-G biscuits last night.

If you’ve lived in India, you’d know whats the importance of parle-G biscuits in post-British India… 99.99% chances are that you’ve had you hands on one of parle-G biscuit yourself. However, If you have not lived in India and never had parle-G biscuit, I suggest you do and become part of the G culture,  the culture opened up a whole new portal for Indian confectionary markets which is now flooded with thousands of name brands.

So I open up the packet with the little kid on the plastic wrapper smiling at me, I smiled back, tore the wrapper apart carefully without damaging the precious delicate content inside, and took out 1 biscuit. The recycled air from the vents of my apartment was hitting the biscuit with the just enough wind that made the biscuit aroma travel on the laminar air currents to my nose. I took a good size bite out of it, which left about 2/3 of biscuit in my mouth. But it was a little too crispy for me. So I gulped it down with my microwaved coffee and dunked the rest of the biscuit in my coffee just about at the point where I could feel the heat of the coffee on my fingertips. But before I could pull it out , it was too late and I saw it happening. The biscuit was breaking apart and sinking back in the cup like Titanic did in the movie. All that was left between my fingers was the “G” from parle G. Frustrated from my first failure, I took another one from the packet and carefully held it at the corners between my thumb and index fingers, like one would hold a photogaprh, so no finger prints would come on the surface… and I dunked it again. This time I pulled it out a little too fast… result… biscuit top player was soft but was still hard inside, so I tried dipping it again and this time, never a good idea. a word of advice, never double dip a biscuit, it broke the same way last one did and met the first one at the bottom of the cup. This biscuit reunion made me even  more frustrated, so much so that I was getting to the point of no return in frustrations, if there is such thing called, point of no return in frustration. Determined to get the dunk properly, I took out another biscuit and timed it perfectly so that it was just soft enough to melt in my mouth and hard enough not to break apart in travel. Finally, success was mine.

So later, while driving from home to work, I was still pondering upon the incidents occurred in the morning during my daily coffee and I came up with a conclusion..This is how it works. The process of dunking biscuits mainly on these things… (a) the temperature of liquid, which can be anything, coffee, tea, milk, beer (if thats what you prefer), (b) the thinness of biscuit, which is pretty constant as all these biscuits are exactly the same, almost like a clone, and no this is not about Dolly the sheep, and (c) the time for which the biscuit is in contact with the liquid. Other things like viscosity of liquid, relative density of biscuit and the time zone in which the biscuits are dunked-in are negligible as the clock record time at the same rate throughout the world…which 1-1000, 2-2000, 3-3000 etc etc. For you math buffs out there, here is the empirical equation,

Quality of a dunk, Q = T . N. t

where, T = temperature, N = viscosity coefficient which is usually mu but since this is empirical formula created by me, i would name it as I think appropriate, and t = time

Any two of these independent variables are inversely proportional to third one at any given empirical situation.

After finishing that packet of biscuits and my coffee, I finally reached to salvage the sunken biscuits, scooped them out with a spoon and enjoyed the gooe mess they left behind. Those biscuits are currently working towards converting the food energy to typing energy which is being used to write this post.

What are the chances that just being in office can get you tickets for wednesday’s ball game.. umm, pretty common actually, but i like to think othewise.

So, there I am with couple of my friends, one who knows everything about the game and other who knows nothing. the game is orioles vs red sox. at this point, I’d like to clarify that my knowledge about al these different teams is limited. The previous place I stayed at were Royals.. yup, kansas city. and it was prettty bad.. last year they made world record (considering any sports here is the world series.. thanks Canada for their involvement to give it the status of series played by the whole wide “world” of North Americas, and I would just like to take this moment to thank Canada for the funny looking leaf on their flag) in losing streak of games, and I thought that would be the rock bottom.. nonetheless, I come to Baltimore, and the team is Orioles, and all my beliefs about Royals are shattered… now, I can’t decide who is worse.. on papers, royals are, but i saw orioles play yesterday, and hence this post, and they suck..

Oh well.. now that the fact has been established that both teams are pretty bad.. I’d move on to my experience of yesterday’s game. It was good. nice weather, nice environment, Americas fav. past time.. we just blended in (haha.. yea right!) eating on card board plates, with a beer in hand in plastic cups, and shouting CHARGE!! whenever everyone did… i like that music, btw.. and also it is tricky to shout, eat, drink beer and boo the other team (red sox) at the same time.. it took some time to master that… All in all it was fun.. check out the pic below of the orioles ball park in color accent, taken by my new camera, more on that later in next post.

Once again. I am back to writing and this time I choose the word press. so Let me give you a warm welcome to my totally useless writing. If you are looking for substance, I would advise you to move on.