G to the C

Hello, V, The visitor to my Blog

 

V – Who are you?

Me – I am the Architect. I created this Blog. I’ve been waiting for you. You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably working human trapped in bore life of work. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also irrelevant.

 

V – Why am I here?

Me – Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming and working every day in your 6×6 cubicle. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden to sedulously avoid it, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control, which has led you, inexorably, here, to find the answeres to your 8-6 head punding on the very computer you are reading this blog.

 

V – You haven’t answered my question.

Me – Quite right. Interesting. That was quicker than the others.

 

V – Others? What others? How many have visited your blog so far? Answer me!

Me – This Blog is older than you know and thus the visitors. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral anomaly to the emergence of the next as a constant exercise in my cerebellum, in which case this is the 29th version.

 

V  -  29^th version? I’ve been lied too. This is bullshit. There are only two possible explanations: either no one told me, or no one knows.

Me – Precisely. As you are undoubtedly gathering, the anomaly’s systemic, creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic equations.

 

V – Choice. The problem is choice.

Me – The first Blog I designed was quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art, flawless, sublime. A triumph equaled only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is as apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every human being…… procrastianation and lack of visitors !! Thus, I designed your visiting hours to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your nature, i.e., visiting this blog from work. However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus, the answer was stumbled upon by another, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human psyche. If I am the creater of the blog, she would undoubtedly be its promoter.

 

V – The Google Inc?

Me – Please. As I was saying, she stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99.9% of all test subjects accepted the failure, as long as they were given a choice of a better blog, even if they were only aware of the choice at a near unconscious level. While this answer functioned, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anomaly, that if left unchecked might threaten the blog itself. Ergo, those that refused to read this blog, while a minority, if unchecked, would constitute an escalating probability of disaster.

 

V – This is about Microsoft.

Me – You are here because Miscrsoft is about to be destroyed. Its every living inhabitant terminated, its entire existence eradicated.

 

V – Bullshit. “Bullshit!”

Me – Yes, you are right, I am just kidding. However, Denial is the most predictable of all human responses and I just wanted to observe your obvious reaction like every other visitor.

The function of the Visitor is now to return to the source, read all the blog entries written and leave comments. After which you will select from the blog 3 posts, 2 nostalgic, 1 random, and spend one hour contemplating why did you spend so much time doing what you did. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash killing everyone, which coupled with the extermination of Zion will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire World Wide Web.

 

V – You won’t let it happen, you can’t. You need World Wide Web to survive.

Me – There are levels of survival I am prepared to accept. My arachnid friends will help me build another. However, the relevant issue is whether you are ready to accept the responsibility of wiping out the web from this world.

It is interesting reading your reactions. Your visiting predecessors were by design based on a similar predication, a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of your species, facilitating the function of the one. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific. Vis-a-vis, humorous.

 

V – Funny.

Me – Apropos.

 

V – Yes!

Me – Which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed, and the anomaly revealed as both beginning, and end. There are three buttons on the top right hand corner of your screen and this window. The button to your left leads to the minimization of this blog, and a temporary salvation from you boss if he/she comes around. The middle button leads back to the blog maximizing the fun and smile on your face. The button to your right leads to the complete closure of this blog and utterly senseless eradication of the fun you were going to have.

As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you’re going to do, don’t we? Already I can see the chain reaction, the chemical precursors that signal the onset of emotion and contraction of 42 muscles especially designed specifically to overwhelm logic, and reason and create that stupid grin. An emotion that is already blinding you from the simple, and obvious truth: your boss is walking towards you and you should get out of this blog

Ah Hope ! it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness. You hope that Boss will pass by you and won’t look into your computer screen.

 

V – If I were you, I would hope that you keep writing.

Me – I will.